Sour Grapes for January 22nd, 2008

Ban Black Cats?

In defense of fireworks

Another freedom disappears under the rock of oppressive nanny government intervention. This time we citizens are found incapable of celebrating Christmas, New Years and the Liberation Day as we might wish to. Laws have been passed to stop the sale and personal enjoyment of fireworks by CNMI citizens.

Each year around Christmas a small but vocal group trundles out the timeworn complaints of possible injury and noise pollution. You are far more likely to be ‘possibly injured’ crossing the street. Should we outlaw it, or worse, mandate that a government crossing guard accompany you each time to assure your safety? Should you be allowed to play a Wagnerian opera at anything above 25 decibels without a court decree?

Instead of some simple rules to enforce courteous use and a safety course to teach proper handling methods, our knee jerk reaction is to legislate fireworks displays as a permitted, government only, exercise. I can see it now. A Department of Artistic Fireworks and Fanciful Yodeling (DAFFY) with 200 employees and a several million dollar budget. One need only fill out these 62 pages of request forms, have each duly stamped with a notary seal, stop by 6 different offices and voila, within 2 or three years of processing a dandy fireworks display will be forthcoming at your 40^th birthday party. So sorry, Christmas will have to be celebrated on March 14^th next year as the backlog of processing requests won’t be finished by December 25^th. Not to worry, it’s for your own good. Stand by for instructions on how you must cook your morning breakfast, coming soon from your friendly protectors up on the Hill.

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A Donut Tree

Thanks to online blogging articles and comments made recently, I went out and enjoyed one thing I never knew existed and revisited another I had not been to in a long time.

I must have driven past the Galaxy donut shop dozens, maybe hundreds, of times and never even noticed it was there. Not having a sign does not help their marketing effort or their visibility. Delores, the proprietress didn’t seem to care much one way or the other. Having been in the same location since NMC was a hospital instead of a college (1978), most folks know where she is and what she serves. The donuts are what are called ‘sinkers’ in the US, a heavy cake like donut with iced glazing. I liked the simple fare and the homey, comfortable feel of the place. I’ll be going back for some more donuts and another sack of that cooked Pork. Look to the right as you drive from the traffic light to the main parking lot at the College and you will see the nondescript white building above you on the rise. This is not the place to go if you want Internet wifi and a 6 dollar cup of burnt bean bitter yuppie coffee. This is the place to go if you want a good donut, a good cup of coffee, nice company and a screened porch all at a very reasonable price.

My 3 year old son and I visited the Botanical Gardens the other day. It was his first visit and my first in a year or two. We tromped around the paths, climbed up into the tree houses, scrambled up the stairs to the overlook and swung in the hammocks spending several very enjoyable hours there. We drank fresh guava juice at the snack bar and pored over the historic Japanese era pictures and piggy banks made from coconuts in the museum/gift shop. Alexander tested each tire swing for safety and efficacy and found they all passed his stringent examination. This is one of the really nice tourist venues on Saipan and one those of us who live here are fortunate to have at our disposal any time we need a quiet stroll down a garden path to sooth a bothersome day or a bad mood. The descriptive signage is woefully dilapidated making plant identification difficult but the park is well maintained otherwise. This is a joyful way to spend a day of your life. The local-rate entrance fee is minimal, so go on out and give it another try. I bet you haven’t been there in a long time either.

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Fold flap A into slot B

I’ll admit right off as a first time parent there may be some room for improvement in my technique. I noticed immediately there was no operator's manual attached by little ball chain anywhere near Olivia's enlarging belly when she was pregnant so decided I had better hit the library, the bookstore and Amazon to find out how to deal with the Salamander, as I called him then. (The ultrasound gave me little hope that he would turn out to be another Homo Sapiens).

I got about a dozen books expecting to use the best of each and also expecting there to be broad consensus on the most important items of child rearing expertise. Was I ever shocked to discover that just about every book had a different viewpoint and offered wildly different advice on how best to deal with the little buggers once out of the chute.

If there is definitive proof of a superior method, I have yet to run across it so I use some of the suggestions I learned from the how to manuals, especially the first aid stuff and just wing it for the most part on those items I don’t really know the proper method of dealing with.

The best laid plans, however, are sometimes difficult to actually put into action as he runs over your foot with the electric ATV on his way to stand on the handlebars, open the drawer, climb up, causing the cabinet to overturn smashing the laptop you are doing your research on. A hearty DAMN IT seems to pop out of my mouth, apparently from nowhere when a series of 8 or 10 experiences like those described above all happen in the space of 10 minutes. So much for vocabulary building lesson 202. It can be a bit frustrating.

This child rearing is not child’s play, this is serious stuff. Mine is three now, and I can only imagine what surprises await me as he gains acumen with that opposable thumb and learns to research winning sales techniques, the better to slam dunk me with at the checkout counter.

Making babies is simple: unskilled labor, happy at their work. What to do with them afterwards is certainly a more complex endeavor. If you have any suggestions or a reading list, feel free to email them to me. Help is needed before the men with the nets come for me.

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Quotes of the week: There comes a time in every rightly constructed boy’s life when he has a raging desire to go somewhere and dig for hidden treasure. Mark Twain (1835 – 1910)

The voice of parents is the voice of gods, for to their children they are heaven’s lieutenants. William Shakespeare (1564 1616)

Sour Grapes for Tuesday, January 15th 2008

Speak out, and Listen
Pardon my French
It seems last weeks article trying to advertise the Zoning Department’s training classes by panning the hilarious Chinese-to-English translations found in some owners manuals was misconstrued by some folks to be a real translation. Nope. I can’t read a word of Mandarin and just made up the piece by playing fast and loose with the English version of the Training Class announcement in an attempt to be entertaining and to get the word out about the class schedule.

My apologies for any inconvenience or hurt feelings.

I do hope you had a chance to attend the classes given for free by the Zoning Administrator, Steve Tilley, to clarify the new law and how it will be administered and enforced. If not, you may still drop by their offices on the 2nd. Floor of the Joeten Dandan building and get your questions answered. You can also call 234-9663/7 or go online to http://www.zoning.gov.mp/ for more information. Email questions can be sent to staff@zoning.gov.mp .
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Hillary is Dead!
No, they didn’t let Sirhan Sirhan out of jail. So it’s not Hillary-the-one-who-doesn’t-want-to-use-her-last-name Clinton who’s on the slab. It’s Sir Edmund Hillary of Mount Everest fame. The guy who “climbed it because it was there”. The guy who made himself and Tenzing Norgay famous by being the first to climb up the biggest hill on the block back in 1953.

In the intervening 50 odd years since his famous climb, Sir Edmund (an informal guy who liked to be called Ed) went back to Nepal over 100 times to raise funds for schools and health clinics for the Sherpas and other residents of the mountainous country. He also led huge expeditions to clean up mountains of garbage, equipment and trash left behind by the many climbing teams that followed in his wake. (Sort of the Angelo Villagomez of the Himalayas).

This man was a hero to thousands, maybe millions of kids and adults the world over, not so much for climbing the mountain, but for persevering in the face of adversity and for getting the job done even though the going was difficult. There was no ‘quit’ in Sir Edmund. He epitomized the ‘finish the job’ credo that makes successful civilizations successful.

Thanks Sir Edmund Hillary for inspiring multitudes to be better than they thought they could be.
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Speak No Evil
I sat down to write an article about the importance of effective communications as it relates to the newly inaugurated Legislature and their ability to keep track of where their constituents stand on issues and events. To generate effective input, the electorate also needs to communicate with each other and with the Legislative bodies regularly. The topics of the day need to be discussed intelligently and rationally. What we find in most non-formal discussions about local, national or international politics is communication hampered by impolite and often uninformed bullying tactics.

I realized I had read an outstanding article by Mr. Michael Cloud about effective communications a few months ago and rather than only paraphrase him or just use his ideas it would be better to reprint the majority of his thoughts on the matter here with only minor editorial input. He states the case with rational clarity:

Gresham's Law of Communication -- and How to Reverse It.
"Bad money drives good money out of circulation," says Gresham's Law of
Money, "when there are legal tender laws."

Imagine that you have two coins, each with a face value of $10. One has ten dollars worth of silver or gold in it. Good money. The other is made from cheap metals and has, perhaps, ten cents' worth of metal in it. Bad money. Now imagine that the government legally requires you and everyone else to accept both coins at their face value. Ten dollars. You can spend either coin for ten dollars worth of goods or services. It might seem like no big deal.

But there's a wrinkle. The government starts coining billions of dollars worth of the cheap metal money. Increasing the money supply. Inflating the currency. The purchasing power of money falls. You and everyone else expect the government to print and coin more money every year. And the next. And the next.

Imagine that you receive $20 for work. Two coins. One with gold or silver in it. The other without. Which coin do you spend? And which do you keep? Right! You spend the bad money. And save the good money. And so does every other sensible person.

That's Gresham's Law. Gresham's Law only operates when there are legal tender laws. When government decrees that "this note is legal tender for all debts, public and private" and legally requires people to accept it.

The corollary, Gresham's Law of Communication, says, "Bad communication drives out good when both are equally acceptable." Rude, insulting, profane, and inflammatory discussions drive out those which are courteous and respectful. Shouting and name-calling discussions drive out those that are conversational and reasonable. Talking-without-listening discussions drive out those that are open-minded and thoughtful.
We can see it on political talk shows. Hear it on talk radio. Read it on the Internet. We especially see it in blogging and chatting. We see it around tables where people gather to discuss political ideas. We spend our vices, and hoard our virtues. Because bad communication drives out good.

But there's a way to reverse Gresham's Law of Communication. There is NO "legal tender law" of communication. You do NOT have to accept bad communication. You do NOT have to accept profanity, rudeness, shouting, inflammatory language, insults or any other kind of communications you find offensive. Conversations and discussions are based on mutual consent. You can negotiate the terms and conditions of your communications. How? Tell people what you want -- and ask if they will do it.

* "John, I really want to talk with you about this, but when you raise your voice, when you call me names, I feel insulted and talked down to. Are you willing to lower your voice and stop name-calling -- so I can carefully consider your arguments and evidence?"

* "Janet, I know you're passionate about global warming, and I respect that.
But when you call people who disagree 'deniers,' you are putting them in the same category as Holocaust deniers. Your language is designed to stigmatize and silence them. Are you willing to stop using the word 'denier,' and show us your evidence? Will you do that?"

* "Tom, I know you feel very strongly about the Iraq War. I want to hear you out. But when you condemn the character and motives of those who disagree with you, when you loudly insult and revile them, I find it almost impossible to listen to your actual arguments and evidence. I need you to stop insulting people who disagree with you. And I need you to calmly lay out your thinking. Will you do that for me?"

You can explain what kind of language and behavior is and is not acceptable to you. Ask the other person what kind of language and behavior is and is not acceptable to her. You can negotiate. Work it out together.

What if they refuse to converse in a way that's acceptable to you? What if they continue to engage in offensive language and behavior? Tell them what is unacceptable. Tell them why. Walk away.

Requesting, negotiation, and walking away are three powerful tools for creating good communications, for building courteous and civil conversations. You can use them with your family, friends, and co-workers, and with casual acquaintances and strangers. And you will begin to make a difference. As will others who do likewise. From such small beginnings, we can set in motion a social trend of courtesy and cooperation. You and I and others can reverse Gresham's Law of Communication.
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Quote of the week: Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners. Bible, 1 Corinthians xv, 33

The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn’t being said. Peter Drucker (1909 – 2005)

USS Jefferson City Port Call

The fast attack submarine USS Jefferson City (SSN759) recently visited Saipan for some well deserved rest and relaxation. While they were here we met many new friends and saw others for the first time in quite a while.




We held the official reception for the officers and crew at Porky's Beach Bar
Last Monday and all had a great time. Everyone seemed to enjoy the local dishes prepared by Simeon and Lito and the service by Porky’s friendly staff.





The CPOs had a blast as we toured Saipan and saw some of the historical sites.

We organized a fishing trip for the JOs. They ate most of the catch as sashimi as it came aboard. The rest we prepared for them at Porky's Beach Patio.

They take the "Island Taxi" back to the boat.

We are proud to display the ships plaque.

*** *** *** ***

The Crewmen of the Jefferson City are back underwater now and it will be a while before they get back to their home port and their families. Meanwhile we wish them smooth sailing and good hunting.

Sour Grapes for Tuesday, January 8th 2008

Hakuna Matata
Yan can Cook
I saw that our local newspaper printed an announcement transcribed in three languages the other day. The article describes the Zoning Law training classes available to the public written in Japanese, Chinese and English. It makes me wonder if they hired the services of the same translator used by Chinese factories to describe ‘how to’ information in owners manuals of many China made products. If so, when Mandarin speakers read the characters printed in the message, it might sound to them something like this:

Wistfully requiring attendance to the smiling home to built or sign changing. On repairing moon washed Multi-Purpose Center needed only come to see, then finding cement and Adult Business presents.

Please to secure arriving in January toward the 8th day including 8:30AM atop 11:30AM. Now may experience feeling enlightened to many Engineers plus additionally finded Architects also on view to Government Agencies pleasing fountains of truth. Leveling Tuesday.

Plan next being surprised aground Adultry Business must take in to be late after 1:30PM after lunching needless unto 2:45 in days leaving part.

Oneness on smooth enterprise of painting languished signage to be determined without existed relief in 3PM left of 4:45PM in waning silvery hours. Even constructions of new ones deftly placing old too also.

Lasting life harvests 6:30PM overlooking subjective wholeness population message agreed next to 8:30PM.

Please to attendance every personally wanted now upon invite.

Then halting confabulation circuit to inform others maybe Zoning Orifice lest 234-9663/7 electron mailing staff@zoning.gov.mp . Downloaded perhaps appealing map with selection putting Law Bundle to bring with, together inside www.zoning.gov.mp webbing online. Includes $5 general sale take away to Dandan Joeten lift to next up floor from 2nd so may attract information extra to proceed bringing along.
---- ----
I’m wondering if Mandarin readers will get as big a laugh out of it as we English speakers do when we read Chinese to English translations. Please to not taking offence here, I’m only having fun at the translator’s expense. I’m sure he/she is a fine person.

My son, by the way, at 3 years old is learning Mandarin (also Chamorro, Carolinian, Tagalog and even some English). He will be much better able to cope with a changing world in 15 years than his Dad who speaks no Chinese as yet, halting or not. Kudos to all the multilinguists in our Marianas melting pot. Shea Shea (sp?).

Please plan to attend the informational/instructional classes on the new zoning regulations as indicated in special code above. You will find it worthwhile.
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Oer the Bounding Main
The 32nd running of the Laguna Regatta was held the last weekend in December. The sailboat race using 16 foot Hobbie Cat boats has been organized by the Over The Reef Yacht Club (OTRYC) every year since bell bottom pants and tie-dyed Tshirts were the in clothing to wear at the awards banquet. Visualize long sideburns and FuManchu mustaches blowing in the wind.

The Laguna Regatta (not to be confused with Hakuna Matata) is the longest running, consecutively held sporting event in the Marianas for sure, and perhaps in all of Micronesia. The race is held each year in Saipan’s beautiful lagoon north and east of Managaha Island around preset buoys marking off a challenging high-speed course.


This year’s twice weather delayed race was won by Janet McCullough and her husband Dr. Tony Sterns. The perennial winners were followed by Ron Smith piloting and Ted Parker crewing their boat into second place while 3rd place points were racked up by Tice Mister and his crewperson Angie (amazing coincidence) Mister during the 4 heat racing event. Fourth place points were tied between Lino Olopai and Derrick his crewman, and Cecilio Raiukiulipiy and his crewman Sabino. 5th went to Bruce Berline and crewman Dale. Congratulations to all who raced and had fun in the 2007 Laguna Regatta.

Sailboats have been plying the waters of the Marianas since the first inhabitants settled here so it is especially appropriate that this race commemorates those brave and daring souls who sailed their ocean going outriggers all across Micronesia and beyond. Captain Lino Olopai, one of this year’s Regatta participants, has sailed and navigated on a Carolinian designed ocean going canoe from the Western Carolines here to Saipan and elsewhere. Another similar craft, the Flying Proa, or Sakman outrigger of Chamorro design was considered the fastest sailing ship on the planet back in the days before motors and modern hi tech materials replaced breadfruit tree hulls and woven sails.

If you missed seeing the race in 2007, you should plan on coming out in April 2008 to watch the 33rd. annual Laguna Regatta. You can watch from Managaha Island, from any number of small boats that gather to spectate, or from Saipan’s shore anywhere from Tanapag Beach to Charlie Dock. It is exciting, fast paced fun. Contact Ron Smith, Defacto Commodore, at 235-5513 for information or to volunteer to help with this year’s race.
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Quote of the week: This sentence would be seven words long if it were six words shorter. Anu Garg (1967 - )

What to do on New Years Day??

Alex tires of choking the puppy and suggests a road trip.
We stick him in the car and chain him down carefully.

Mom, Auntie Doe, and Nena suggest a trip to Topachau and we are off!
Alex tries to throw me off the cliff but I resist manfully.
I want to ride the ATV's and will hold my breath until you relent.
Maybe later Kid. Goats, that is
We see beautiful tree flowers blooming.
We visit the Shrine at Santa Lourdes and cop some holy water.
We see a snowman...a bit of a rarity here in the tropics.
Alexander drives the 2-man go cart at Marianas Resort...Full tilt boogie, pedal to the metal the entire time. The kid is pretty darned good for 3 years old.

As you can see there is lots to do on Saipan for New Years Day. After the above pics we spent a little time at the beach. Then Olive and I ate dinner at the 2298 and drank a bottle of Mouton Cadet Phillipe Rothchild (all of it) then had a congratulatory Bananna Split at the Big Dipper. By then each of the NYD resolutions had been compromised so we headed home. I spent the rest of the evening playing with the baby's Momma. Fun.

Sour Grapes for Tuesday, January 1st 2008

Working on the Railroad
Labor Abuse
I and a few hundred other people were at the Labor Department Processing Office last week standing in interminable lines. The reasons for the lengthy wait for service are twofold:

First, there are lots of contract workers trying to get in under the deadline to be consensually or otherwise transferred before the new labor regulations come into effect on Jan. 1st. 2008. Many hundreds of them, perhaps a couple of thousand have come forward in the past few weeks to beat that deadline, after which they cannot transfer without an administrative order and some serious hoop jumping.

Second, a couple of months ago Labor Department management decided to reallocate manpower to reduce the then large backlog of labor processing applications. Because of a lack of funds and a lack of manpower it was decided to split the workday into mornings during which Labor Department employees work on clearing the backlog of applications and afternoons when the service windows open up allowing new applications and other business to be transacted.

The second of these reasons brings us around to the subject of this article, labor abuse. The ones being abused here are the Labor Department employees. They are required to come to work at the regular time early in the morning and work for half a day on the paperwork backlog mentioned above. Then after a lunch break they are tasked to come back to work and do another entire days work of accepting and verifying new applications and all other window service tasks but have only the afternoon hours to accomplish it. In other words they must do another whole days work in half a day.

The right way to clear this big backlog might be to hire temporary manpower to do the grunt work. 10 or 15 data entry and filing clerks could do the drudgery while a couple of knowledgeable Labor Department employees could oversee and check their work. Another possibility would be to allow overtime for the entire staff, say 2 to 4 hours per day until the backlog is cleared. I’m sure management thought about these solutions and said “nice options but where do we get the money to pay the salaries or the overtime?”

So what it all boils down to is a group of hard pressed individuals down there in Processing are working doubletime and regular hours ‘overtime’ without benefit of being paid for the extra work. I’ve been there transacting applications two or three times in the last couple of months and saw these folks gamely trying to keep up with this pace and doing so with a great deal of skill and with smiles on their faces. The other sections like JVA and Records and Enforcement and Hearings are also in for a lot of extra work in the coming months as new labor regulations go into effect and contract workers shuffle to try to stay here in the CNMI.

Labor Department employees’ jobs are not likely to become easier in the coming months, and the workload will probably increase instead of decrease. Add to this the looming possibility that a federal takeover of Labor and Immigration may be imposed by the US causing some or all of them to lose their jobs altogether. Both are tough on morale.

I for one am amazed at the show of good spirit shown by these hard working individuals and I salute them for their diligent efforts. If the workload without overtime doesn’t ease up soon maybe they should walk across the hallway and file a labor case. (Kidding there).
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Omnibus Railroad
If you are watching right now you can see from current events how the US system of government works. Lobbyists and other paid special interest groups suggest a course of action. Some of these special interests are from inside the government, others come from outside. Closed-door inner sanctum committee meetings are held where other insider special interest government groups, committees, staffers and others draft the legislation, often with a self interest agenda to push or a chip on their shoulder to avenge. Bills are then packaged together, dozens sometimes, seldom if ever read by lawmakers, claimed by their sponsors to be uncontested then passed while most members are back in their home states diddling the wife and vacationing on the taxpayers dime. Four senators and a sticky dress aide are often enough to get the legislation passed.

In our case they disguise a federal takeover of the CNMI as a tree hugger/feel good package of “uncontested” environmental measures. Seriously, the bill designed to terminate self government in the Marianas is hidden inside a package called the National Parks, Forests, Parks, Public Land and Reclamation Act of 2007. Does that sound like a federal takeover bill to you? Want to guess how many US Senators will actually read even part of even one of the ‘nearly 60’ bills packaged inside S.2483? My guess is zero. Want to guess how many even realize they will be voting on a measure to nullify government autonomy in the CNMI? I wonder who else is being screwed to the wall by other bills hidden in this ‘uncontested omnibus’ package?

This is sadly, not an unusual strategy. Committee chairman Sen. Bingaman is ‘delighted’ and hopes for speedy passage of the unread bills. I bet he is. I wonder what his cut will be?

So American History and Civics teachers take note. If you are still giving kids in your government school classes the party line egalitarian, citizen-representative, bills passed on their merits story; you are doing them a huge disservice. Tell them how the system really works. Wake them up to reality. The system touted as a measure to facilitate flow of legislation is really a system of pat-my-back-I’ll-pat-yours patronage where US Senate and Congressional votes are traded like cattle at auction to the highest bidder. Nothing new there, it just happens to be affecting us directly this time.
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Quotes of the week: A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. Theodore Roosevelt (1858-1919)

The history of an oppressed people is hidden in the lies and the agreed myth of its conquerors. Meridel Le Sueur (1900-1996)

Happy New Year!!

To all you out there in Blogland, the Bateman family wishes you a happy, healthy and prosperous New Year!

May 2008 be a banner year for each of you.

2007 Laguna Regatta

Tomorrow, Sunday December 30th., the Over The Reef Yacht Club will host the 33rd running of the Lguna Regatta. This is the longest running countinuously held sporting event in Micronesia (or is advertised as such). The Regatta is a series of sailbot races featuring Hobie Cat 16' racers held in the Lagoon north and east of Managaha. The action is exciting and can be viewed from Managaha, from a boat stationed around the course or fom shore in several places.

Come on out and watch if you have the chance, it will be a lot of fun. You can participate in next year's race with any similar sized cat hulled sailboat if you wish. Contact Tony Sterns or Ron Smith for details.

Sour Grapes for Tuesday, December 25th

Dollars and Sense
Zoning
As of Feb 1st the new Zoning Law of 2007 will go into effect and will affect just about everyone on Saipan in one way or another. You can read a copy online at http://www.zoning.gov.mp/ or you can go to the library or the zoning office in the Joeten Dandan building to see the map and read the law. Everybody from a homeowner building or adding to his house, to commercial builders/developers, to subdividers, to existing business owners, to any interested investors and just about everyone else should familiarize themselves with this new set of regulations. You should become ‘reg savvy’ as Ed Peterson of Susupe suggests. (I liked that letter…’made me think’).

Some will view it as an additional bureaucratic obstacle to efficient development. Others will see it as a cure all that will change our infrastructure overnight. The truth lies somewhere in between. Small towns (like us) and big cities alike have used zoning to revitalize blighted areas, to stimulate additional new themed construction in now stabilized areas and to transform a hodgepodge of unrelated buildings into comfortable, clean and enticing spaces for tourists and residents alike.

Steve Tilley, the zoning board and the small staff of the zoning office have worked hard to generate a useful and hopefully usable set of regulations. Whether it gets off the ground and becomes a meaningful part of things Saipanese or not depends upon funding and staffing priorities. If the government can afford to staff and fund the department it will be off to a flying start. If not it will languish, forgotten regulation books moldering away, like the last set of zoning laws established in 1993.

There are three possible weak links: Enforcement (can and will the new codes be enforced – see staffing requirements and funding discussion above). Fairness: (can and will the new codes be administered fairly and impartially in all cases). Future Leadership: (unimportant details can turn into personal vendettas and it’s easy to lose sight of the overall zoning picture when all the myriad details are swirling around. Success through the years will hinge almost totally on the ability to find and hire the right leadership).

Good luck to all in this endeavor. Done right this could be vitally important to our efforts to produce a better tourist product and to make our island a better place to live. Done wrong it can be a nightmare.
* * * *
Revitalization
While eating something-on-a-stick at the Thursday Street Market I ran into Angelo Villagomez. As we sat and discussed how to save the world, the conversation came around to oldtown Garapan revitalization. Angelo espoused a couple of ideas that made a lot of sense to me and I will pass them on to you for your edification. (Notice how I deftly laid it off on Angelo in case you think the idea is wacky).

He believes that to make the place better, jobs, like government agencies, and other office type private job generating businesses need to move into the Garapan downtown area. Tourists would like to participate in a “real” local experience, not just a tourist sham experience put up for their benefit. Tourists want to meld into an already existing unique cultural enclave a la San Francisco…cable cars, rice-a-roni, wharf, Nob Hill, China Town etc. Tourists come to see the local ambiance in a location not to create it.

Also needed are people to move their residences into this area, real working folks, living there full time. Angelo has already moved in there for whatever nefarious reasons (kidding) and would like to see others do the same. Real residents walking the streets (no not street walkers), using the business facilities and adding foot traffic to a sometimes barren area will make it a pleasant and comfortable feeling place to go.

He has a good point on both counts if you ask me. So MVA, find yourselves a new or now empty building somewhere in Garapan and move on in.
* * * *
Merry Christmas
The 26 million dollar tax rebates issued to tax payers by the central government last week will certainly help stimulate the economy. Those dollars will begin spreading around the CNMI right away and will help not just the individuals who got the checks but will help spur on the economy generally as the bucks flow from place to place. Retail items will be bought, bills – some past due- will be paid, some hard earned entertainment may be enjoyed, vital financial help to family, neighbors, friends and the needy may be forthcoming for the first time in a while.

It was the right thing to do. Thank you for having the guts, and the smarts, to give it back to the people you ‘borrowed’ it from. Better late than never as the saying goes.
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Quarterback
It looks like the CNMI will join the other insular areas like Washington DC and Puerto Rico in submitting a design to the treasury for a commemorative quarter coin (25 cent piece). May I suggest a couple of indigenous CNMI citizens standing valiantly before a huge caricature Uncle Sam who wields a carrot in one hand and a big stick in the other? Or maybe Uncle Sam has a wad of US greenbacks in one hand and a whip in the other and sports a “Labor and Immigration” sweatshirt. Spice it up with military aircraft landing on Tinian in the background. Okay, last chance: a jack booted Uncle Sam stepping on a copy of the Covenant while snickering “self governance?” in a cartoon quotation balloon.

Commemorative Quarters. It turned out to be the first stimulus for personal savings generated by the federal government in decades. The mint pumps out Billions (think Carl Sagan) of these quarters every year and the discerning American public actually hoards them believing they will be valuable collector items someday. Beach sand has a better chance of appreciation than a coin produced in huge volume does. Numismatists know better, but the ever-gullible public holds on to the zinc clad wonders as if their future retirement hinges on it. Okay, you got me…I’ve got a dozen rolls of uncirculated State CQ’s stashed in the old safety deposit box even as we speak.

One last thought: the government may have actually stumbled on a profitable business for a change(bad pun). If it costs 4 cents to make a quarter and you sell it discounted to 23 cents to member Federal Reserve banks and then it disappears from circulation requiring new ones to be minted to meet demand, a tidy profit ensues. As soon as they find out they are making money (sorry pun) they will probably start subsidizing an expensive process to turn it into a loss at the earliest opportunity…they wouldn’t want to spoil their record. (Hey, it could be worse, I could coin a phrase like last week).
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Quote of the week: Doubt comes in at the window when inquiry is denied at the door. –Benjamin Jowett (1817-1893)

Sour Grapes for Tuesday, December 18th

On the Soap Box

This past weekend a new annual event was inaugurated which could become a major draw for tourists and a fun family oriented contest for those of us lucky enough to live here all the time.

Saturday Dec. 15th saw the first Soap Box Derby races held on the island. Actually, these were Cubmobiles not Soap Box Derby racers, but the idea is much the same. Unlike the sleek aerodynamic low slung Derby racers I remember as a boy, these Cubmobiles are sturdy, roll-over resistant coaster cars more suited to the younger drivers. (Although the older boys and the adult older ‘kids’ could hardly wait to get their hands on the Cubmobiles for a test run down the hill last Saturday).

Basically, a Soap Box Derby is a race in which two homebuilt miniature cars coast side-by-side down a measured hill in timed elimination races to determine who has built the fastest car and who can drive the race most skillfully. More than just a race, the event teaches an array of skills and moral lessons to the boys and girls who compete. Honesty, fair play, sportsmanlike conduct, sharing, graceful winning and losing, and many other lessons are learned. The kids also learn use of tools, wood crafting, patience, conducting actions within a limited framework of rules, reading and following plans, time organization, deadlines and more while building and racing their machines.

The race held up on a Capital Hill back road was organized by local Cub Scout pack #913 and their leader Cub Master Matt Smith, a local attorney. Cub Scouts are boys 8-11 who band together under the leadership of volunteer adults who teach thru example and guidance the art of moral living and successful community life. They do it by allowing the boys leeway in learning skills and doing things that are naturally fun for young boys. Also involved in organizing this event and in building the cars ware members of Boy Scout troop #913, the version of scouting reserved for older boys aged 11-18. The Scout Master of Boy Scout troop #913 is Valrick Welch. Both of these Scout groups are sponsored by the local LDS Church.

Scouting is a worthy endeavor and other interested parties are involved in organizing additional troops of Cub and Boy Scouts. David Sablan, Al Cabael and Bob Jones, among others are actively promoting troop formation around the island. Hopefully inter-island camps and competitions will materialize over time. My thanks to all who work to encourage these Troops of young men and boys in their work and play.

The races held this past Saturday were between two teams of Cub Scouts. The T-Bone team (thankfully not a description of their driving prowess) was comprised of Ezra Conner, Salofi Welch, Carter Smith, Wallyson Wally, and JJ Brown took home the 1st place honors and the team trophies. Mere seconds behind in overall points were the Bumblebee Team with William Fong, Matthew Alonzo, Sterling Brown and Christian Rider at the wheel of their buzzing yellow Cubmobile. Congratulations to all who raced, all who prepared, all who organized, and special thanks to whoever baked the cookies!

I would like to see our island put together a full scale Soap Box Derby annual event that coincides with the races now run by the Scouts each December. I write this without having done my homework on just how a community goes about interacting with the Akron, Ohio based national Soap Box Derby organization, but a few phone calls and a net search should provide the necessary information. I would be happy to work with any interested parties to see this project get going. Please contact me if you have an interest.

We have some great hills that would make a safe but exciting venue for the annual races. With the addition of regulation, speedy Soap Box Derby race cars this event could become a major regional and international tourist draw. Where else could they go to see this kind of action anywhere within thousands of miles? The finals are held in July by the All American Soap Box Derby In Akron so we could hold qualifier heats and send our winner to Akron next year for the big final race, or perhaps the year after. They have been racing these cars and promoting healthy competition and strong moral values in the country’s youth for 70 years. The first national event was held in 1937. Saipan could be in on the action for the 71st or the 72nd National Finals! These races would be open to Scouts and all the other age qualified kids living in the CNMI. This could be an event that will help put us on the world’s tourist maps.
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Next week we’ll look at downtown Garapan revitalization. This week I’m saving space for a couple of photos from the Cubmobile race.
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Quote of the week: The spirited horse, which will try to win the race of its own accord, will run even faster if encouraged. Ovid (43BC – 17AD)