Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Sour Grapes for Tuesday, January 8th 2008


Hakuna Matata
Yan can Cook
I saw that our local newspaper printed an announcement transcribed in three languages the other day. The article describes the Zoning Law training classes available to the public written in Japanese, Chinese and English. It makes me wonder if they hired the services of the same translator used by Chinese factories to describe ‘how to’ information in owners manuals of many China made products. If so, when Mandarin speakers read the characters printed in the message, it might sound to them something like this:

Wistfully requiring attendance to the smiling home to built or sign changing. On repairing moon washed Multi-Purpose Center needed only come to see, then finding cement and Adult Business presents.

Please to secure arriving in January toward the 8th day including 8:30AM atop 11:30AM. Now may experience feeling enlightened to many Engineers plus additionally finded Architects also on view to Government Agencies pleasing fountains of truth. Leveling Tuesday.

Plan next being surprised aground Adultry Business must take in to be late after 1:30PM after lunching needless unto 2:45 in days leaving part.

Oneness on smooth enterprise of painting languished signage to be determined without existed relief in 3PM left of 4:45PM in waning silvery hours. Even constructions of new ones deftly placing old too also.

Lasting life harvests 6:30PM overlooking subjective wholeness population message agreed next to 8:30PM.

Please to attendance every personally wanted now upon invite.

Then halting confabulation circuit to inform others maybe Zoning Orifice lest 234-9663/7 electron mailing
staff@zoning.gov.mp . Downloaded perhaps appealing map with selection putting Law Bundle to bring with, together inside www.zoning.gov.mp webbing online. Includes $5 general sale take away to Dandan Joeten lift to next up floor from 2nd so may attract information extra to proceed bringing along.
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I’m wondering if Mandarin readers will get as big a laugh out of it as we English speakers do when we read Chinese to English translations. Please to not taking offence here, I’m only having fun at the translator’s expense. I’m sure he/she is a fine person.

My son, by the way, at 3 years old is learning Mandarin (also Chamorro, Carolinian, Tagalog and even some English). He will be much better able to cope with a changing world in 15 years than his Dad who speaks no Chinese as yet, halting or not. Kudos to all the multilinguists in our Marianas melting pot. Shea Shea (sp?).

Please plan to attend the informational/instructional classes on the new zoning regulations as indicated in special code above. You will find it worthwhile.
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Oer the Bounding Main

The 32nd running of the Laguna Regatta was held the last weekend in December. The sailboat race using 16 foot Hobbie Cat boats has been organized by the Over The Reef Yacht Club (OTRYC) every year since bell bottom pants and tie-dyed Tshirts were the in clothing to wear at the awards banquet. Visualize long sideburns and FuManchu mustaches blowing in the wind.

The Laguna Regatta (not to be confused with Hakuna Matata) is the longest running, consecutively held sporting event in the Marianas for sure, and perhaps in all of Micronesia. The race is held each year in Saipan’s beautiful lagoon north and east of Managaha Island around preset buoys marking off a challenging high-speed course.


This year’s twice weather delayed race was won by Janet McCullough and her husband Dr. Tony Sterns. The perennial winners were followed by Ron Smith piloting and Ted Parker crewing their boat into second place while 3rd place points were racked up by Tice Mister and his crewperson Angie (amazing coincidence) Mister during the 4 heat racing event. Fourth place points were tied between Lino Olopai and Derrick his crewman, and Cecilio Raiukiulipiy and his crewman Sabino. 5th went to Bruce Berline and crewman Dale. Congratulations to all who raced and had fun in the 2007 Laguna Regatta.

Sailboats have been plying the waters of the Marianas since the first inhabitants settled here so it is especially appropriate that this race commemorates those brave and daring souls who sailed their ocean going outriggers all across Micronesia and beyond. Captain Lino Olopai, one of this year’s Regatta participants, has sailed and navigated on a Carolinian designed ocean going canoe from the Western Carolines here to Saipan and elsewhere. Another similar craft, the Flying Proa, or Sakman outrigger of Chamorro design was considered the fastest sailing ship on the planet back in the days before motors and modern hi tech materials replaced breadfruit tree hulls and woven sails.

If you missed seeing the race in 2007, you should plan on coming out in April 2008 to watch the 33rd. annual Laguna Regatta. You can watch from Managaha Island, from any number of small boats that gather to spectate, or from Saipan’s shore anywhere from Tanapag Beach to Charlie Dock. It is exciting, fast paced fun. Contact Ron Smith, Defacto Commodore, at 235-5513 for information or to volunteer to help with this year’s race.
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Quote of the week:
This sentence would be seven words long if it were six words shorter. Anu Garg (1967 - )

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