Saturday, August 23, 2008

A New Blogger Etiquette

Well, it looks like the, even the slow witted nonys like lil knucklehead have begun to figure it out after a few months so I guess it is time to stop experimenting with them, fess up and propose:

A New blogger etiquette

While sitting at home enjoying an evening with your family an unwashed crazed looking man with a ski mask over his face to conceal his identity runs up to your house gesturing wildly and begins to pontificate on social and political issues of the day, claiming to be the messiah of information and the guru of opinion. He hurls insults at you, spouts inanities and nearly wets himself in rage if you express an opposing view. Or maybe you are standing around a picnic table down by the beach and along comes an unwashed, stinking bum demanding that you owe him an explanation for something or other. To top it off, Mr. Malodorous Intruder is wearing a mask to deliberately hide his identity. What do you do?

1. Laugh uncontrollably
2. Sic your dog on him
3. Listen thoughtfully to his rantings, and beg to sit further at the feet of the master.
4. Call the police
5. Explain to you children why it is not a good idea to talk to or listen to strangers.
6. Offer him a beer and let him sit next to your kids.
7. Tell him what an idiot you think he is and send him on his way.
8. Punch him in the face, then tell him to go away as he lays there on the ground.

The analogy to be drawn here is that the crazy acting masked man on the beach or in your home has precisely the same level of believability, the same level of trustworthiness, the same aura of sleazy, hide in the grass cover up quality as an anonymous blogsite and its motivation hidden author have. None. Credibility: likewise none.


In the blogsphere we find a handful of these crazed crackpots; identities masked to hide their real affiliations and who is paying them to spout their drivel.

The point ? These are not people, they are thugs, liars and crackpots hiding behind a mask. They try to hold you hostage to a courteous and traditional system of communication while refusing to take part themselves. They don’t have the courtesy to even introduce themselves yet they make claims on you to respond politely to their raving rants. You owe them nothing. To offer them civil discourse in exchange for their lies and treachery simply eggs them on. Just say no. Or just say screw you.

They do not deserve to be treated as persons because they are not. They are unpersons, perhaps non persons. They are only phony facades and like a like a movie stage set, there is no substance behind them. No reality. Just a thin veneer of doggeral over the recently used toilet bowl of their existance.

I suggest we just say no to conversing with them. Or if we choose to say yes, we treat them with the contempt they deserve every time honest people respond to them. Towit:

I propose a sliding scale of civility for responding to bloggers and blog comment section entries. On a scale of 1 to 4 where 1 is the most civil attitude response, 2 is neutral 3 is decidedly uncivil, and 4 is glaringly nasty. I propose the following:

1 is reserved for people who fully identify themselves and who post on their own blogs and comment on others blogs with reasonable courtesy and consideration. They can certainly be direct in their comments and can declare and defend any position no matter how unusual or farfetched as long as they identify themselves and maintain moderate decorum. “You know, Bob, I hear what you are saying but think you are in error because of X, Y and Z.”

2 can be used for occasional, infrequent or 1 time anonymous commenters and for those identified blogers who are just crabby natured. “Geeze, Bob, (or Listen up Nony), that is the same line of crud you were trying to feed us last week. It didn’t fly then and is not likely to now. Here is why you should at least rethink that position.”

3 is for anyone so ashamed of his or her ideas and comments that they hide behind a rock of anonymity and run out to squat and pee their comments or their posted blog entries, then scuttle back behind their moldy rock. Also itching for a 3 rating are those who constantly harp the same disrespectful and tired messages day after day, week after week. “We grow tired of your hogwash Dildo Breath, that line of reasoning is about as convincing as your Mom’s sales price.”

4 Especially earning a trash job are those who would be character assassins while hiding their own identities to avoid retribution or having their true motivations exposed. (Perhaps there should be a 5th level for these scum). Also deserving a level 4 response would be the ‘pontificating anonymous crackpot’ (PAC) with an opinion about everything and a snide comment about everyone else’s opinion. Feel free to imagine an appropriate reply, like “Jane, you ignorant slut, (sorry SNL) May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your HIV infected underwear. My dog could argue the point better than you do, asshole. So go fuck yourself, as no one else is likely to.”

In General: The sliding scale of civility would have us respond to those four ‘types’ with roughly the same level of courtesy and forthrightness they display with additional points docked and insults added for cowardly anonymity, a la the eye for an eye rule.


I further propose that those #3 and #4 folks have ‘floating names’. By that I mean that any anonymous commenter or blogger should be called whatever comes to mind when responding to them since they are afraid to provide a name themselves. Example: “What are you using for evidence to support that contention Lame Brain?” …as opposed to “What are you using for evidence to support that contention, Bill?”, where the italicized nomen is rotated at the responders whim and indicates the identified responders level of agreement or disagreement with the anonymous coward’s viewpoint. Severe disagreement would lead to “What are you using for evidence to support that contention, Shithead?” etc. Maybe the most egregious offenders should be verbally trashed whenever they peep out from under their rock. Something like: “Sorry shit-for-brains, if you want to identify yourself we don’t mind listening. If not, get the fuck off my blog, dirtbag.”


I’ve been practicing this on a limited scale for a time and think there is some merit in confronting the scum instead of mollifying them. I won’t claim it makes the pitiful anonymous clowns any less clownish, but I do submit that it makes me feel better to confront their cowardice with every turn of the screw, especially if there are deep seated philosophical differences. On the other hand, a competent shrink might think I have gone off the deep end. Either way, I am enjoying it and suggest you too climb on board the Raspberries to Nonys train. You may be amazed at how good it feels to return the thumb of the nose they give you when they respond anonymously to you.

So go ahead, be openly hostile, feel free to be insulting, talk bad about their mothers. There is no reason to be polite or even minimally courteous to someone who hides their identity. They deserve your derision. They deserve your contempt. They deserve to be crapped on.

Like terrorists, bandits and criminals, there is a reason they hide. They fear you will find their real connections and laugh out loud at their silly arguments once you know who they actually represent. If you know one, out him. If you don’t, trash one at every opportunity. Remember they are sniveling cowards and most are also blogging at work and thus stealing time and money from their company or from the government (meaning you) with every post they make. Why else do you think they hide?

An intelligent observer I know notes “Craving attention anonymously, what a concept”. In a short sentence he distills the essence of these pathetic jerks.

Well, it has been fun playing with them, especially the child molester who pretends to be a mom, lil knucklehead. Even the Pusillanimous Putz, Mr. Playdoh, has returned to the blogsphere, enthralling us with his verbosity. (Read tickled us with his childish posts). It must be admitted that he may just be the copy, paste and spam king of the blogs. If only there was some substance.

So pile on. Stick it to ‘em. Any attention you give them, helps them sublimate their tired, hidden lives, so even if you are nice at heart, you are helping them by giving them some of the attention they so desperately crave, but are afraid to ask for. Be nice, flip ‘em off. Anonymous bloggers, you too should pitch in and ream another nony.

You don’t have to be crude or use swear words as I have done in the above examples, but there is no need for you to be polite to these cretins either. Remember that at the heart of every anonymous blogger is unabashed dishonesty. So treat them as you would any other extortionist, mugger, rapist, sneak thief or bank robber.


SteeleOnSaipan said...

How can anyone not like this guy?

“Craving attention anonymously, what a concept.”

Lil' Hammerhead said...

Don't forget to ask Steele if he's doing this on company time? ;} I may ask him for you.. how about that. Since you're so fond of the question and all.. I'm sure you won't be selective about posing it?

The most fearful moderate any disention away.

Bruce A. Bateman said...

Unlike you, knucklehead, I can tell time. Randy's comment was posted at 12:46PM on his lunch hour. I would also note that if you actually live on Saipan, you could indeed go over and ask him yourself. Could I do the same with you? No, of course not, because you are too afraid to even offer your name. Perhaps you are in prison right now doing time for child molestation or sodomy. Is that why you post anonymously, knucklehead? Come clean and tell us who you are, cowardly clown.

It is laughable that you would accuse others of being 'fearful' as you slink out from behind your slimy anonymous rock and post your lies without even the courage to say who you are. No wonder most people are disgusted with your vain chatter.

" The most fearful moderate any disention away." Au contraire, knucks, the wise usually choose to moderate the ramblings of the inane and the purposely evasive like yourself as worthless prattle. (Hint: next time try using ‘dissension’ or it’s alternate spelling, ‘dissention’, dipshit).

Now, while we are at it, are you ready to answer the question or are you not? Do you support those employees who chat or blog during working hours? Do you condone their theft of time and resources from either their private sector company or from us the taxpayers if they are employed by government? You have evaded the answer each time I have asked it. Are you finally ready to take a position or will we hear more of your pathetic, evasive babble?

Lil' Hammerhead said...

Again.. come to my blog and ask me that. My answer must be important to you.. you've asked it about eight times.

There's a whole squad of folks who comment on blogs at all times of the day.. Steele, Mike, Boni, Brad, Turbitt.. they're not all blogging during their "lunch hour" either. You're not that ignorant.. or maybe you are.

You come ask your amazingly important question on my blog.. I'm sure my answer will astound and amaze you.

Bruce A. Bateman said...

Once again you waffle. I suppose it is all you are capable of.

Your answer matters to me only to see if you can actually give one. So far, nothing.

If you want to discuss it, do so here or on the string we first talked about it on. If you think your answer will amaze me (which I doubt very much) fire away.

I’ve told you before, I will not post to your blog site. Here is why: I find you to be a detestable person, knucklehead, a coward and a liar. From what I see from your vain posts on other blogs, your life seems to revolve around these silly blogs and you measure your ‘success’ by how many choir members show up. I will not be, ever, a party to helping you in that endeavor, silly though it is.

I agree with you that different people blog at different times of day. My position is that no matter who they are, (with a few exceptions) if they blog or chat during business hours then they are stealing time and resources from their employer if working for a private company or from the taxpayers if they are working for a government entity. Possible exceptions: PIOs from gov’t or the private sector, teachers while passing computer or writing/posting skills on to their students, owners of privately held companies…there may be a few more exceptions, but not many. Each should identify themselves clearly when they post.

It appears you are too cowardly to make a straight comment, even acting under cover as a seamy anonymous blogger, since you have waffled the question seven or eight times already. So if you have a position, state it, if not, this will be the last of my time I will waste on you.

Lil' Hammerhead said...

:} All this poison about one of your "favorite new blogs", as you in your own words described my blog?

Here's my answer Porks..

I trust that good employees have the ability to manage their time appropriately. Whether that means working through lunch when necessary, working overnight, working on weekends, traveling for work when necessary, or when taking breaks for coffee, a snack, or commenting on blogs. I trust that Steele, Boni, Mike, Turbitt, Jane, Brad, Floway, and the rest, manage their time appropriately, and accomplish to the best of their ability.. their tasks. I don't believe they would be employed, if their employers weren't satisfied with their output.

Tada! Working employees in slavelike fashion for a few pence an hour.. isn't the only way, and I'd say is not any way, to foster great employees. Wouldn't you agree? ;}

Bruce A. Bateman said...

I am impressed. You kept that quote held close to your breast (or doggie teats) all this time. You must care very much. I’m touched.

Shortly after that comment was made I came to my senses, recognized you for the popinjay you really are and have not visited your blog since.

Sorry to disillusion you, knucklewalker, but that comment was made before we found out you were lying about who you were, before we discovered you were a cowardly lying scumbag too afraid to be identified or stand behind your words.

Come clean twinkletoes. Tell us who you are so we can get a laugh before the lights go off again and our generators lull us to sleep.

He guesses she will regale us with a tale of his/her conversion to Islam or how she actually left Saipan 15 years ago as a disgruntled, pock faced, unlaid school teacher but has found happiness in the synchronized swimming community…anything but the truth. There is no truth to be found in he/she/it, only pitiful attempts at self gratification via anonymous commentary with anonymous applause from the peanut gallery.

Thanks though, for finally coming out with an answer, I’m guessing you had to find someone to help you frame the idea then write it for you as it took several days to get it out of you. Plus it sounds far too rational and dare I say it (?) reasonable for your normal ranting posts.

It should come as no surprise that I disagree with you, or your ghostwriter as the case might be, at least in part. While you skillfully greased the ways hoping to ingratiate the very folks you previously degraded about it (long extra hours, finishing the assigned tasks etc), I think you err when you try to legitimatize the spending of time during working hours for personal use by claiming the possibility of offsetting hours. You would be the first one to throw a fit (okay maybe the second one behind the Transparency Queen) if it were someone in government doing it. At least until someone who will give you a job again is elected. They might then get a pass. I would absolutely agree with you that “Working employees in slavelike fashion for a few pence an hour.. isn't the only way, and I'd say is not any way, to foster great employees.”

BTW, a ‘beak for coffee’ does not include 2 hours of work and 6 hours of blogging and playing solitaire.

Hey, at least you are willing to state an opinion. That’s a start. Amazingly, as you predicted, I actually agree with part of it. Thanks for answering and thanks for keeping my charm on your bracelet all these months.

Lil' Hammerhead said...

Suggesting I've no opinions, is tantamount to suggesting water isn't wet. There's are over 300 opinions on over 300 matters at my blog.. you're always welcome to come over and be "amazed and astounded". ;} And don't you worry.. I do all of my own writing. Goro does enough ghostwriting for everyone.

When my kids or hunny start paying me a regular hourly salary for the housework.. they can consider me an "employee". Until then.. I remain the queen.

Jeff said...

Get a room you two. You can cut the sexual tension with a knife!

Posted at 7:56 pm. PST

Bruce A. Bateman said...

I'll be 'amazed and astounded' when you come clean and reveal your identity. I will be more than happy to vist your blog on that day.

Lil' Hammerhead said...

Alright Porks.. my name is Juanita Enriquez, I'm chief degreaser salesperson for Salesco Manufacturing products.

KAP said...

Good one, Jeff. I chuckled.

Bruce A. Bateman said...

I should have known, knucks...and I'm actually Bert Parks older brother, Public.


Yeah, yeah, Jeff, I lust after the knucklehead. I've made several overtures but have been rebuffed. Something about gene mixing.