Contest Protest !!

POWER TO THE NEARLY SEXY PEOPLE !!

There has been a protest lodged against an obviously slanted contest here in the CNMI during the running of which illegal discrimination was practiced. On it’s face it becomes clear that the three bottom positions of the recent Sexiest Blogger Contest were occupied by Walt, an African American , Bruce and Older American (okay an old fart curmudgeon White Guy) , and Gus, a guy errr …named Gus. A case could also be made that those with hair placement issues (Jeff and Harry – an obvious misnomer) were also treated unfairly.

So we think that some form of vote miscounting, ballot box stuffing, perhaps outright vote buying and rigging schemes prevented those minority groups from being properly represented. Not enough public access was allowed Black/White/Gus and possibly Hairless Guys and this kind of blatant discriminatory conduct should not be allowed to exit in our egalitarian society.

I, errr , we hereby demand a recount and we demand some puff votes be pushed our way affirmative action wise and just because we are good guys wise. We, okay I, hereby call for a recount and we also think it unfair to have these young pup whippersnappers over represented in the contest. We believe that actual sexy guys (or possibly sexy guys) like Brad should be excluded because their presence skews the bell curve and besides it is unfair to compare those who might be a bit fitness challenged with those cheaters who eat right and work out etc.

We think it is demeaning to the other participants to only vote for those actually sexy contestants. Stand up for equality. Stand up for the rights of the downtrodden. Stand up and sell your votes to the right sort of guys. You know, Older, Darker, Lighter, Less Hirsute Guys. We think the contest should be rerun with somewhat less intimidating competition. We nominate Groucho Marx (dead), Keith Richards (nearly dead), Jerry Garcia (gratefully dead, and somewhat smelly). We also think some other, closer to moderate on the sexiness scale entrants would be more appropriate and would not hold the rest of us up as sexual objects to be ridiculed and drooled over by the opposite or any other sex. So we nominate Pogo, and the midget guy from Fantasy Island.

With you sense of fairness restored, by force if necessary, we think you will cast your votes as they should have been originally cast, that is FOR ME errrr US !